I’m no stranger to H-games. As a younger man, I played the old DOS classics. Gems like “Three Sisters Story,” with its complex storylines and many branching paths. You had to learn about your prospective lovers and earn their trust enough to bump pixels to cheesy elevator music. The games were involved and took a good bit of time and patience to unlock everything. The storylines were complex and engrossing (even if a bit cheesy), and had the added benefit of offering brief opportunities for one-handed gameplay throughout. Going into “Otomaid Cafe” I was expecting a game of similar merits. I was sorely mistaken, but not exactly disappointed.
As for the story, Otomaid Cafe is no literary marvel. The story is bare bones. The plot only exists to set up the next H-scene and little else. You take the role of Naruse Kei, who has recently moved in with his brother, and has agreed to work for him in his cafe. Upon arriving, you’re greeted by the face of your brother, Iori (whom I like to call “Brother Tumblr”). With little pause, you are informed that the cafe is a “Trap Maid Cafe” and you are its newest trap. You’re then shoved in a locker room by “Brother Tumblr” and told to get ready for work. Inside you meet your coworkers Aoi and Tsukasa—your two prospective lovers. You’re immediately stripped and dressed as a maid, and within moments Aoi is already sucking your cock like a pro. From that point on you’re fairly free of the story. The H-scenes are often much longer than the story bits in between, which mostly consist of your coworkers slowly turning you into a trap.
As for the characters, they’re pretty cut and paste. They’re written well enough to be entertaining, but you won’t find anything innovative here. Aoi is your typical nymphomaniac—dominating and humiliating you on a regular basis while Tsukasa is the standard quiet type with a chip on their shoulder. Both characters do have their charm however and can be fun to interact with at times. While the story is lacking, the game however held my attention enough for me to want to unlock all the endings. You learn a bit more about their lives in between long sessions of getting to know their bodies, and both of them kept me playing.
I’ll be honest, there’s only one reason for that—the H-scenes. I am admittedly a huge fan of traps and doing horribly taboo things to them. However while there is plenty of that in this game, it’s not the main draw of the sexy bits for me—the writing is. This game is full of moments that are self-defeating in their hilarity. While the game is most definitely fap-worthy throughout, I most strongly remember the moments that had me dropping my cock and laughing due to great writing or horrible translations. You haven’t had a good fap session until you’ve gotten right to the edge, and then in a sultry Japanese voice, heard the words “sausagu weenah” unironically. Aoi, in particular, has a bit of a thing for sausage, and I can’t help but laugh every time he mentions it. I’ll drop a few of my favorites from along the way below, but trust me when I say there are plenty more where they came from.So at the end of the day, would I recommend this? Well, if you’re a fan of traps and looking for an unintentionally funny romp through every exposed orifice in sight, sure! If you’re looking for something serious and involved, give it a miss. Otomaid Cafe is at its core a bare bones fuck-fest with full voice-overs and lots of content. While it may not stand out as a marvel in accomplishments, it does exactly what it set out to do, and I can’t dislike it for that.