Taking the Internet from behind

Keepin’ It In The Family: Dysfunctional Family is Greebo’s second attempt at a game where you play as a man fucking your way through your family and town.

When someone tries out a demo for an unfinished game, it is often times bad because of the sheer fact that it is unpolished and incomplete. Unfortunately for Keepin’ It In The Family: Dysfunctional Family, this is not one of those times.

Let’s back up significantly for a minute. Keepin’ It In The Family: Dysfunctional Family is an erotic RPG where you play as a high school guy going around and trying to get into the panties of a variety of women, including family members. As of the day 1 demo, that includes his slutty classmate, his friend’s slutty sister, and his own slutty sister. The reason for the subtitle is because Greebo, the creator, had made a prior version of the game and started over. Though to be sure, that is an awful subtitle.

Gameplay mostly consists of going on quests around town and interacting with its various denizens. Occasionally, you may encounter some kind of random minigame, but I will get back to that in a moment. Porn in this game consists of 3D-rendered artwork and, on rare occasions, poorly-implemented animated segments. Just the same, I’ll come back to this as well.

The actual gameplay doesn’t have too much worth reporting on heavily. It mostly involves going up to people or checkpoints and clicking the interact button. You might call it a very simple adventure game, which is fine, I suppose. One of the game’s strong points is that it’s pretty decent about drawing your eye towards objectives, and the in-game quest log is legitimately very good at keeping you on track. Additionally, Greebo is a half-decent environment designer, so besides the occasional issue with getting stuck on a lamp post, the game looked fine. It’s a bit of an unambitious gameplay concept, but it’s not bad if your goal is highlighting the artwork and the writing, the value of which I will weigh on shortly.

Pretty decent environmental design. Now, if only getting around wasn’t such a pain.

Before I give the gameplay of the demo a pass, I want to call out the lock-picking minigame that it makes you do five minutes into the game. Now, putting any kind of dumb, mandatory minigame five minutes into your game is a decision that’s a bit of a headscratcher. Compounding that decision further was the fact that the damn thing was incapable of detecting when I actually succeeded in my initial attempts. I literally just couldn’t progress until I redownloaded the whole game and tried again. It worked that time, but even a non-buggy version of that stupid minigame is a terrible, terrible idea.

Now then, the 3D images. As a general rule, I do not like 3D porn very much. I’ve seen it used better, I’ve seen it used worse, but in this game, everyone looks like taxidermied robot people. That said, I can say without hesitation that the 3D images in this game are among the least erotic and most laughable 3D images I have seen in a long-ass time. Everyone here looks like they are in a state of perpetual O-face and cannot seem to stop making some truly moronic expressions. The CGs here really are far bellow par for a game making 1.5k a month on Patreon. For your viewing pleasure, I included a gallery of some of the dumbest faces I encountered in the demo below.

The demo features five “erotic” scenes, of which two have animated sequences. I won’t dwell on the animated sequences too long beyond saying that they both look exceedingly robotic and one of them was responsible for my game’s second crash. Overall, the sex scenes in this game are truly devoid of eroticism of all sorts. The dialogue is low-effort “your dick is so big!” trash. As previously stated, the image CGs are populated by taxidermied robot people who look incapable of genuine erotic feeling. If I had to pick one CG that was less bad than the others, it would be the scene with the friend’s sister, if only because there was a hint of genuine conflict and emotion there. The whole thing makes me wonder if the person creating it had so much as seen porn before, because all the characters were doing these fucking yoga-esque maneuvers, like wrapping their legs around the MC while he fucks them from behind.

The writing is honestly not worth talking about. Besides random and meaningless sex, there is no central plot to speak of, and the characters all have personalities as thin as saltines. Your sister wants to bone you because she’s lonely. Your classmate wants to fuck you because you are helping with her homework. Your friend’s sister agrees to fuck you because she has a bizarre and unquenchable need to be a stripper, but doesn’t want to be found out. Perhaps this could lead somewhere in later versions, but this is no way to start a story. The dialogue deserves little mention beyond saying it is all simple and stunted, and reading it for any length of time is exceptionally unpleasant.

Truly, she is a master of the Kama Sutra.

Look, I know this is a meet-n-fuck game. I didn’t come in expecting Anna Karenina, but the writing in Keepin’ it In The Family: Dysfunctional Family is shockingly and uncommonly bad, even for the lax standards of its genre.

Having said all of this, I am sure you understand that I believe this is a bad demo. As I said in the beginning, I am not saying this demo was “rough,” I am not saying it was “unfinished,” and I am not saying it needs a “once over”. For better or for worse, the demo of Keepin’ It In The Family: Dysfunctional Family feels like a mostly-finished product. It’s just that said finished product is some of the worst that H-gaming has to offer. Worse yet, it is bad in ways that do not seem immediately obvious how to fix. Almost all of the issues mentioned here are deeply-rooted problems that would essentially require the wholesale replacement of everything besides some of the base gameplay mechanics.

Strange things happen over a game’s development cycle. This game has its fans and it certainly has the budget to make massive overhauls. Moreover, while I’ve thoroughly dumped on his game, I have no evidence that Greebo is anything besides a well-meaning creator with some good instincts, especially in terms of game design. This game could become worthwhile to play at some point, but the central fact remains: The demo for day 1 of Keepin’ it In The Family: Dysfunctional Family was among the worst builds of any H-game I’ve ever played.

Also, I think the protagonist looks like he would be better off as the main character of “Roofie Adventures”.

You can download the latest demo for Keepin’ It In The Family: Dysfunctional Family at Greebo’s Patreon. Similarly, if you feel compelled to play the full game, you can gain access to it by backing the very same Patreon.

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