Posted by: ChromaKnight 3 October 2016
The 2016 Lewd Jam hosted on the indie game hub itch.io has come and gone, leaving us with about what one would expect from such a game jam. We got memes, rule34, and typical 4chan shitposting. The one thing we don’t have, however, is a formal winner.
Although each game has its own rating, there were zero ratings entered within the voting period of the jam after it ended. These individual ratings aren’t the most reliable, so I took it upon myself to find the best games of the 33 submissions. There are a few basic categories because there were quite a few gems, although each game had its strengths and weaknesses.
Most Beautiful/Sexiest Game: Vampyeur
In Vampyeur, you get to live out the fantasy of being a fly on the wall of a beautiful woman, except you’re actually a fly-sized vampire and the wall is the beautiful woman’s body. It’s less of a game and more of a visual experience, since currently all there is to do is climb and admire the naked woman as she aimlessly walks around a room. The player can collect gold stars floating around the furniture and also climb inside the woman’s pussy, but both of these actions are pointless from a gameplay perspective. The level of detail is incredible when taking into consideration the time frame the developer had, although one should expect a lot of clipping and the game to be a bit glitchy.
Funniest Game: Sin Tactics
Sin Tactics is set in a dystopian past where your unnamed boss has placed a tax on all dildos. He plans to invade Poland with the money from taxed dildos, but bakeries have been making their own tax-free baguette dildos. Your job is to go into one such bakery and mind-break everyone inside. Jokes aside, Sin Tactics looks like it could be a really good game, if not for the horrendous balancing. It’s got a nice mixture of simple graphics and text-based gameplay, but it’s impossible to do anything since the moment you begin fighting someone, you almost immediately get mind-broken yourself. Still, it’s good for a few laughs.
Most Potential: Castle Rock
Castle Rock has a typical RPG interface, although it uses Java rather than RPG Maker in what seems to be a home-made game engine. Currently there’s a short character creator where you can pick which character your PC will cosplay as — this is just for aesthetics — along with four areas to venture to from a central hub. Each of these areas are swarmed with their respective enemies, and if you touch one in the overworld you get put into a fight with them. Winning fights is pointless because you don’t get any experience regardless, so all there really is to do is walk up to people, strip naked, and get fucked.
Best Game: One Last Hunt
Monster hunting is always a revered job, regardless of where you look. It’s dangerous, unpredictable, and doesn’t have the most attractive retention rate. In One Last Hunt, you play as the 31-year-old Nate, seeking to retire after an impressive 11 years as a monster hunter. The only thing stopping you is that your tastes have changed over the course of those 11 years. You now seek a monster girl to keep you company, but she has to be the perfect one. Currently you’re only able to choose between a minotaur or a harpy, though a lamia option will be implemented if the developers decide to continue development.
There is a quick mini-game at the beginning where you venture across a randomly generated map, reminiscent of FTL: Faster Than Light‘s map system. Going through areas decrease one of your three scores, which all start at 20. Finally when you get to the end, you start your fight with your would-be pet, who is intent on enslaving you instead of the other way around. Both parties have the same move set, with the option to attack the opponent directly, decrease one of their three ability scores, or sexually attack them, though the last option is only available after one of the ability scores has been reduced to zero. Attacking your opponent’s ability scores brings you to a simple mouse game, which looks very out of place when compared to the rest of the graphics, though it serves its purpose. Defending against your scores being attacked puts you in an eerie, lore-friendly twilight world where you dodge little red orbs. Sexual attacks likewise have their own unique mini-games based on who’s attacking, and basic attacks simply happen.
The game itself is simple, though holds quite a challenge for your first time through, so don’t be discouraged if you lose quickly on your first try. For a two-man team, One Last Hunt looks and plays amazingly well, and feels extremely complete despite the one missing character.
Honorable Mentions: Trap RPG, Lewdest Labyrinth, Lucid Erotic Wet Dream, Waifu Solitaire, and Something Lewd This Way Comes
These games are all decent enough to play, if not good. Trap RPG operates similarly to the original map of One Last Hunt, although each area has its own monster ‘girl’ to fight. You play as a trap trying to not get fucked into oblivion by said ‘girls.’ It features good writing and very interactive combat, along with some nice art.
Lewdest Labyrinth is a short RPG dungeon crawler where you run around fighting monsters that sometimes try to kill you, and other times try to fuck you. There are only four enemies and one boss as of the alpha build. Lucid Erotic Wet Dream is a top-down run-or-rape game. It’s got a good base, but there’s not a whole lot to do.
Waifu Solitaire is a unique and impressing little game, where you start by being asked the name of your waifu. Whatever you enter will be searched on gelbooru, and 52 images will gradually be downloaded to replace the default images of the cards. You don’t need to worry about formatting what you put in, meaning “samus aran” gets the same results as “Samus_Aran.” You can also only search for one term, so “samus_aran futa” will net you nothing. However, you can search for anything that’s on gelbooru, so “futa” will still work even though “futa” is not a waifu.
Lastly, Something Lewd This Way Comes is just a silly little game where you throw vibrators and butt plugs at other naked women so they don’t get on the last ship off of a crumbling planet. Yelling “GO FUCK YOURSELF” as you chuck sex toys at the other women is highly recommended to increase enjoyment of the game.
If you want to check out the entire roster of games submitted to the jam, head over to the jam page.
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