If it's a hole, it's a goal.

Custom Maid 3D 2, developed by KISS, is a management game, a dress up game, and a sex simulator all rolled up into a single delicious package. Like… like a mango roll, except instead of cream and fruit, it’s willing women and delicious tits and ass. Way, way healthier.

The basic premise of Custom Maid 3D 2  is that you, the protagonist (a nameless, average college graduate), are summoned by a rich and distant uncle to his opulent manor. Once there, your uncle explains that he has fallen deeply in love with his personal maid assistant, and is eloping with her and abandoning the mansion; however, he can’t in good conscience simply leave his business to rot, so he’s willing to pass it on  to you. Should you accept, you’ll become the owner of the “Empire Club”, the massive lower floors of the mansion that together serve as a combination of a luxury restaurant, hostess club, titty bar, and whorehouse.

An offer you can’t refuse. Seriously, look at those tits.

You will, of course, inevitably accept. This is because becoming the Empire Club’s owner also implies becoming the Master of all the maids working in the mansion, and obtaining the exclusive right to treat them as your property and personal sex objects.

Once you follow the noble counsel of your ever-faithful lower brain, you will be taken to Custom Maid 3D 2’s character creation. This is a sparse menu with only a slider for color and opacity, several hairstyles, and a body weight slider. Ultimately, since the game is all about the maids, the appearance of your self-insert isn’t treated as very important. Still, you can totally play a giant fat man or a slim bishounen if that’s what your sick heart is into.

The ghost of future dick.

Once you’ve made your character and signed your papers, your previously generous and accommodating uncle will be possessed of an urgent need to leave the mansion as soon as possible. Before you know it, he’ll abscond with his personal maid and rush off to take a flight elsewhere, presumably to a country without extradition.

After a few moments of standing bewildered before an empty desk, your personal secretary maid will enter the room. She’ll introduce herself the best way possible – by inviting you to invade her personal space. Sadly, in what I can only assume was a terrible oversight by the development team, you can’t fuck her on the spot. Or ever. She will, however, be your assistant for the rest of the game, explaining your initial position and giving you updates on your progress.

As it stands at the beginning of the game, though, she reveals that you are royally screwed. Your uncle lied to you by omission – due to his mismanagement, the Empire Club is a dilapidated, abandoned shadow of its former self. It has no maids working its empty, dusty floors, and it is deeply in debt – a debt which you now own. It’s now your responsibility to restore the Empire Club to its former glory as a premiere house of debauchery.

Seriously, it’s a crime that you don’t get to fuck her. 

Before you can get to the business of whoring and serving drinks, though, you’ll need to replenish your staff. Currently, the only maid working at the Empire Club is your secretary, and she’s too busy with paperwork to do any floor work. She’s also apparently too busy to have sex with, for some goddamn reason, but I digress. We’ve finally gotten to the point where Custom Maid 3D 2 shines, and that’s waifu creation. Using the computer at your desk, you’ll be able to order a custom maid tailored to your strictest specifications. This is represented by an incredible character creator with a multitude of sliders and options. You can select your preferred hair styles, eye color, eye shape, weight, height, hip width, breast size, moles and freckles, pubic hair thickness, and oh so much more. It is a veritable cornucopia of options that allows you to create the lewdest, sexiest maid your depraved little heart can come up with. If I had one criticism to give, it is that out of all these options, there’s somehow no ass slider (ass size is controlled by leg thickness), so you can’t give your maids the truly tremendous rear ends a patrician taste demands. Still, you can nonetheless create some truly beautiful girls.

Chubby blondes are a miracle of the universe.

Once you’ve finished creating your girl, it’s time to clothe her. Clothing choices are obviously slightly more restricted than body choices, as there’s less total combinations that don’t look awful, but you still get to pick and choose from a variety of uniforms, swimsuits, underwear and accessories. Want to give your maid horns, a tail, and a gothic uniform? You can do that. Want to treat her like the whore she is and deck her out in bondage gear with an eye mask so she can’t see your dick coming? You can totally do that too. Moreover, clothing choices do expand as you progress to the game, and there’s additional downloadable content adding new outfits among other things – but we’ll get to that later.

Micro bikinis are only the beginning.

Your maid’s looks aren’t the only thing you can customize, though. The “profile” tab in the character creator lets you access a menu that allows you to change your maid’s name, tweak her stats (which influence how quickly she progresses at her skills from cleaning to sex), and set her personality, which changes her voice and how she reacts to events. You can even set whether she’s a virgin or not, so you can properly deflower her like God intended.

I named her Theodora, in honor of that one Byzantine empress who loved taking cock.

Once you have your first maid, the game begins a tutorial section. In this section, you’ll be able to access core game functions like scheduling your maid’s activities – cleaning during the day and pleasure at night, for example. You won’t be able to hire more maids until the game begins in earnest, however.

The management system also allows you to view the Empire Club’s progress.

You’ll also be able to access the long awaited “Night Service” system. By scheduling sex at night, the moment the sun sets you’ll be taken to the lower room of the mansion where your chosen maid will be waiting for you, wine glass in hand. This is where one of the current big flaws of Custom Maid 3D 2 comes to light, however – the game’s fan translation is only partial. The UI is fully translated, of course, but most dialogue isn’t. This means that if you don’t know Japanese, conversation with your maid is more or less impossible. Still, this little pre-sex interval does serve some purpose besides getting to know your girl. Depending on your choice, you can either head straight to the bedroom or tell your maid to keep drinking, which will end in her being extremely drunk during sex. Whether your maid is drunk during sex or not affects the positions available, her voice acting (her moans become delightfully slurred) and it also affects how she reacts to the sex itself.

Whatever you pick, though, you’ll eventually take your maid to bed. Custom Maid 3D 2 lets you choose between several different stages to fuck your maid in, with more options being unlockable. These include, but are not limited to, your room, a rape dungeon, a penthouse at night, and a literal dancing stage.

Once you pick a stage, you’ll finally be presented with your maid’s sex options and positions. These are initially limited, but the more you fuck your maid, the more experience she earns, resulting in more positions she can perform in. The positions themselves are presented as a queue system – you select which positions you want, and then they display one after another, with a limit dependent on your maid’s Stamina.

The star system represents how good your maid is at a position. More stars open up the chance for rougher and faster fucking.

Once you get to actually having sex with your maid, you’ll find that the sex scenes in Custom Maid 3D 2 aren’t actually static. You have several options to pick from during sex, including how rough you are with your girl and where you finish, among others. You’ll also find that you have to keep track of three of your maid’s stats – Excitement, Mind, and Reason. The higher her Excitement goes, the more options unlock for the scene among those she knows. The lower her Reason goes, the more your maid loses focus on anything but sex – her speech will go from normal to slurred to unintelligible moaning and screaming; however, let your maid’s Mind dip too low and she’ll become so obsessed with the act that she’ll become unable to follow orders, even one as simple as letting you orgasm. It’s a bit silly, but it adds another layer of entertainment to the sex.

Patrician taste dictates that you should always come inside.

After several in-game days, during which you’ll get the hang of both scheduling and sex, Custom Maid 3D 2 opens up. Your secretary informs you that you are now allowed to hire more maids and put the ones you have to work directly for the Empire Club, where you can have them serve drinks, show off their tits, or, if for some reason you’re into that and don’t want a personal harem, actually whore themselves out to the customers. Whatever you choose to do, your maids’ work will allow you to raise money in the form of credits. This will help pay off the Empire Club’s outstanding debts, and once you’re actually in the black, a credit surplus will unlock a special Shop, which allows you to purchase extra content for your maids in the form of new clothing, accessories, and piercings, among other things.

You can totally dress your maid up like a schoolgirl – and also like a cheerleader, a belly dancer, a businesswoman…

As the game progresses and your maids level up, you’ll also be able to access extra sex content, such as new rooms, scenes, and options during scenes. Sex scene content access is tied to your maid’s initial stats and which kind of sex you have with her day after day, so a maid that gives a lot of blowjobs will progressively learn to be better at blowjobs, while a masochistic maid will begin by letting you restrain her and then later letting you beat her during sex. This is about as awesome as it sounds.

What can I say? She was asking for it.

On the technical side of things, Custom Maid 3D 2 features great sound design, with full voice acting from the maids, including during sex, nice music, and good sound effects both lewd and non-lewd. Graphically, Custom Maid 3D 2 is gorgeous by indie game standards – the girls’ models are well sculpted and textured, and their bodies are deliciously taut and jiggly during sex. Unlike a lot of eroge for the Japanese market, Custom Maid 3D 2 also features full graphic options in its config menu, letting you choose texture and shadow quality, anti-aliasing levels, and resolution (up to 1080p). Surprisingly, it also lets you activate an FPS counter on the top left corner of the screen, but as you can see from the screenshots this apparently breaks if you have the kind of rig that can push the fps over 60.

“STOP, onii-chan! Your graphics card is too big for meeeeee!”

All in all, Custom Maid 3D 2  is a great sex sim and a great h-game in general. Even untranslated, the awesome customization, excellent voicing, great quality of the sex scenes and the ability to manage an entire harem of sexy girls, is guaranteed to provide you with hours and hours of fun. This game has amazing replay value, so that even if you do manage to put it down, you’ll likely find yourself going back to it every month or so. I fully recommend it, and you won’t regret playing it.

Custom Maid 3D 2 is available for purchase at Getchu . Also available is an expansion known as the Plus package, including DLC such as new clothes and voices. If you want to try out Custom Maid 3D 2, I highly recommend downloading KISS’s latest bugfix patch available here . You’ll also want the fan patch courtesy of Hongfire, which adds an uncensor, fully translates the UI, and adds a partial fan translation of the dialogue, which you can find here.

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