What follows is a work of satire. Some information may have been exaggerated for the sake of entertainment. Please don’t get too salty.

Capcom recently made the decision to remove certain aspects of Street Fighter V in order to ensure nobody feels “uncomfortable”. The move was clarified by producer Yoshinori Ono, who said they didn’t want to implement anything that could be deemed “not acceptable”.

Here at LewdGamer, we’re all about being inoffensive. Butt slaps are so last year – it’s time to move on. When the news of Capcom’s censorship of the character Rainbow Mika arrived, there was much debate on the topic. Many people felt that it was unreasonable while some others were overjoyed at the prospect of having a cleaner, more palatable Street Fighter game. It was Capcom’s decision in the end, and they had simply made the choice to appeal to a wider audience by dialing back the suggestiveness.

After weeks of speculation the producer of Street Fighter V, Yoshinori Ono, came forward to give the final verdict on the situation. Ono made a press statement, saying that “we also want to reach those who have never even touched a fighting game”. He continued to justify this, by saying that achieving his goal would require some changes. “We can’t have anything in the game that makes people think, ‘this is unacceptable’. Good on you Ono: it would be a damn shame to push people away with sexual imagery and distasteful animations. There’s just no room for that in 2016.

Capcom has really went above and beyond this mission statement, however, as we’ve learned since. In their bid to be as inoffensive and clean as possible, Capcom has pushed to be the most inclusive fighting game ever created. Nowhere is this clearer than with their handling of their female characters. R. Mika, for example, in her wrestling costume featuring assless chaps and cleavage window, is the epitome of tasteful. Her costume is one for the modern age, where the female body is respectfully handled. Now that’s what I call acceptable, Mr Oni.

We shouldn’t forget recent developments either, such as with Laura, a newcomer to the series. Capcom has elected to include a more diverse cast in their new fighting game, as the new Latina bombshell can attest. Thankfully, Capcom has handled her addition respectfully and with consideration for those newer, more sensitive fans. The carefully crafted underboob in her alternate costume, showing off Laura’s sizeable bust under a tiny crop top, is downright empowering. Her incredibly visible string thong, which creeps upward from a tiny pair of shorts, is the height of classy. Capcom has really outdone themselves on this one, nobody would even think to call it unacceptable.

While R. Mika and Laura are new (or not so new, but you get the idea) to the series, Capcom has also made sure that their staple roster has seen the inclusive treatment too. Chun Li, famous for her large thighs, has been given more consideration this time. Capcom, likely in a move to detract from her often sexualized legs and in a bid to showcase her personality, has designed a new costume for Chun Li. The new costume, barely covering her body at all, really shows off her skills as a fighter. The subtle, artfully implemented chest bounce really illustrates her power of mind over matter. The costume also accurately reflects her Asian heritage, so points for that too.

In the end, Capcom has solidified Street Fighter V as a fighter for the modern age. Their changes, while drastic, are likely to entice even more fans to the series. Fans that may have never played the series before due to outrageous costumes or over-the-top moves are now welcome to try their hand. Capcom’s new, safer design ethos will likely ensure nobody feels offended, and that nothing is likely to be deemed “not acceptable”. Good on you, Capcom.

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