We live in a world where a porn website knowing your usage, gender, and hardware is normal. Most people probably won’t really think about that, while some people will think about it too much.
For some websites, they will harvest your data for good reason – they will say anyway. They want to be able to blast you with ads that are personally tailored to you as a person, and feel you should be thankful for that. It’s a symbiosis; you give them all your personal information and they give you product information based on that. If you didn’t give them your personal information, you might take an extra minute or two to find the kind of restaurant you like in the area. That’s just not good enough.
All this exposition is because one of the world’s favourite porn sites, YouPorn , has released data on how people used their website. This isn’t something new, YouPorn have been releasing interesting data like this for years. What makes this time special and most interesting to us, is that this time they’ve released data on how console users watch porn. YouPorn released the data in both graph and written form, with the written portion simply expounding on the data available — with a lot of egregious gamer puns to boot. The data is anonymized of course, so no single person is personally identifiable like other websites, but it does show quite a lot of information.
The first graph tells us which console people use most on YouPorn. Unsurprisingly, Sony swept the results with a massive 51%. That’s not really news to anyone who followed the nightmare that was Microsoft PR, who danced from one greatly disliked feature to another. Remember “always online”? Microsoft would prefer you didn’t, but everyone else does which is why the Xbox users sit at a less impressive 39%. It’s worth noting at this point that they include both this and last generation in their figures — thankfully nobody is original and current gen still uses the same name just with a new suffix. Finally trailing in last, which is surprising and unsurprising, are the Wii’s at 10%. I say surprising because the Wii was the clear victor of last generation, so you would generally expect slightly more users, but at the same time it won with families and children. The Wii U on the other hand isn’t either of those things, and just failed outright to make it big with consumers.
Now that we have the figures for each of the consoles, we can start to look at the data for each. I’ll focus on the top three results for each console, but you can take a look at all the results in graph form in this handy gallery. Beginning this console war for porn is Xbox. The top three search results from Xbox users are “lesbian”, “teen” and “mom”. In fact, lesbian is in the top three for every single console, which begs the question – why are so many people against homosexuality? A question for another time perhaps, as the other results are just as interesting. Playstation users also searched for “mom”, as well as “milf” and “lesbian”. It seems that both Xbox and Playstation users have something in common at least, in that they both really want to bang their mothers, or at least someone else’s. Who knew Oedipus owned so many consoles? Nobody tell Freud he might have been right about something. Finally we have the Wii users, whose top searches were “hentai”, “lesbian” again and “Japanese”. Now we know where Otaku really congregate.
YouPorn also released data on a few other things, like what was searched more on each console. This section is just bizarre, and shows Xbox searching “Halo”, Playstation searching “taxi” of all things, and Nintendo searching “Zelda”. Halo and Zelda can be understood, Master Chief is a rugged guy, and Zelda is a pretty princess that has plenty of porn out there, but taxi? After searching YouPorn for “taxi”, the results were obvious — people having sex in taxi cabs — which is still no less confusing, but whatever floats your boat. They also published data on gender spread, with the results being much as you would expect.
For all consoles, only 8.5% of visitors to the site were female. Across each console, the Wii users had the most females at 11%, while the Playstation had the least at only 8%. Female console owners however, spend more time on the site than men, at 8 minutes 1 second compared to 7 minutes and 9 seconds. There’s a subtle hint in there that our men aren’t quite meeting time requirements in the bedroom, but there are also way more men than women, which would vary the averages. Out of all the results, women viewed “threesome” 86% more than men, “DP” or double penetration 84% more and “romantic” 73% more. If you ever needed more of a hint that your partner wants a romantic threesome with some DP, there it is. In searches, the top three were “lesbian ass” at 1186%, “doctor” at 725%, and “gloryhole creampie” at 507% more. That one is a little less structured, but lesbians are still coming out well on top for both genders.
The other data, which you can find in this gallery, goes over the less saucy data like age distribution, country distribution, and the favourite porn star of all (it’s between Alexis Texas, Kim Kardashian or Mia Khalifa). The data is certainly interesting, and shows the side of porn nobody really sees. It’s a window into the true nature of humanity, and makes for interesting viewing. In particular, some results seem to go against the reality of people’s lives, such as homophobia and incest. Maybe when we watch porn, our true selves come out. We can hide things during daily life; we can pretend none of us do weird things behind closed doors, we can even advocate against what we enjoy, but in reality our sexual fantasies and desires will always give us away.
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EDIT: A small error was made, the search terms for gender did not include male percentages. This has been corrected.
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